If Diets Fail, what Works? (Hint: not diets disguised as lifestyle changes)

I won’t debate this any more. The people who like to restrict their eating with diets, going raw vegan, or doing cleanses and detox plans can have at it. If you like it, I love it! Live and let live. Beyond that, there’s really nothing left to discuss. People should eat what they want, what makes them feel good and enjoy life.

Now, for you out there who have tried every diet and restrictive eating scheme under the sun and it didn’t make you feel good or happy, there are other ways to get healthy and maintain a healthy body weight. And you know it’s true because all the healthy people in the world are not on diets, right? I mean, it is actually quite unnatural to constantly worrying about what to eat, like it’s a full time job with overtime. That’s just what life is like in a diet and thinness-obsessed culture.

For those of you to whom this is old news, you may be struggling with what you can do when you want to get healthy, lose weight or both. But if you don’t want to take on another diet that will inevitably fail you, you may be feeling lost. Just because you’re not on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t get healthy and lose weight. You can, but it requires a whole paradigm shift, and that’s not a bad thing at all. In fact, leaving diet culture should be an act of liberation. Wanna be free?

What does healthy look like to you?

It is important to know, absent all of the exterior influences that may have been shaping your priorities for many, many years. Have you been set on a certain clothing size or number on a scale? Have you ever really considered what would really improve your life. I can tell you about many women who thought that once they became a certain size an weight everything would come together but it just didn’t. And that created an existential crisis of sorts because they deeply believed these things and when they fell apart when they did reach the weight and size goals, things just fell apart.

So when you are considering what healthy looks like, you need to consider some tangible outcomes that are related to things you want to do or experiences that you want to have more than meeting the approval and expectations of others. You see, you can’t control the reactions of other people. But you are in control of living the way you want to live, being physically capable of doing things that bring you joy and most of all, freedom to just enjoy the world around you.

Take time to make a list of what you want. Be careful not to shrink your dreams based on past diet failures or what other people think. Dream big!

Don’t eliminate foods or food groups from your daily diet.

Rather than doing some kind of elimination diet, by imagining that there are some certain demon foods that are just bad, and cause every ailment know to humankind, think about expanding your food choices to add nutrition. It’s pretty exciting to explore different cuisines and cooking at home because everything from Caribbean, to East and West African, to Mediterranean to Latin American dishes are often rich in fresh produce and healthy grains, legumes, seafood and even meats. For me, making a traditional ethnic dish is my choice over contrived diet food every single time. Diet culture focuses on what ingredients a dish is free of: fat-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, taste and passion-free… Why do this when you can focus on making an awesome curry dish instead?

Do not put any fun activities on hold until after weight loss.

A huge part of getting healthy is enjoyment of your life. No matter where you put the fault of your current condition getting it together is not a punishment. If you are able to make a decision to change your life for the best you are blessed.

Now, physical movement is important for both health and mental happiness. You know, endorphins and things… But in diet culture we are brainwashed to believe that exercise must be in a gym, and miserable punishment or a way to earn permission to eat food. That looks ridiculous written down, doesn’t it? When you were thinking about what healthy means to you did you envision yourself doing things? Hiking? Surfing? Kayaking? Dancing? Swimming? Right now is the time! Push past the self-consciousness and judgement of others. People are gonna judge you no matter what so fuck their ideas about your life. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had women want so badly to take my bellydance class but feel they need to wait until they lose weight first. Do you know how much energy it takes to bellydance!? It would make losing weight so much easier!

It’s time to adopt a new badass attitude. Because you are everything. Your body is yours to do what you want with. Don’t worry about doing strenuous things or things you think will burn calories. Do what’s fun. And if you’re not sure, give it a try and if you don’t like it move on to something else. Be flexible and free.

Take things slowly, it’s not all or nothing.

One surefire way to create a failure is to attempt to overhaul everything in your life at once. And doing something difficult does not make your success any more likely or dramatic. This is another myth of diet culture. What works is what you will enjoy and maintain. So for some families this means trying a new recipe at home once a week. For someone else it may mean taking a whole cooking class. But for sure you don’t go and throw away everything in your refrigerator and attempt to completely change everything you eat every day.

Maybe if you want to run a marathon you could join a running club a couple of times of week rather than jumping right in to marathon training.

Be gentle with yourself and allow as much time to adjust as you need, as long as you are actively moving toward your goal of doing your fun activity. You are not in a competition with anyone, you’re just living your fabulous life.

Self trust is key.

If you learn nothing else learn this. You must learn how to trust that your body has wisdom and will signal to you what it needs to be healthy. I know it sounds all esoteric and woo woo but it isn’t. We who live in Western diet cultures have been conditions to ignore our bodies’ internal signals and instead pay attention to external forces who actually are only concerned with making money. Once you learn how to be mindful and pay attention to your intuition, hunger cues, energy levels, and appetite to help you form your dietary habits that will result in a long, high quality life.

How do you learn all of this? The information is out here, on and offline for you to take advantage of. But, I’ve already done the work for you. If you would like ongoing guidance in discovering the healthy eating and lifestyle that works for you individually, food and lifestyle coaching may be what you need. If you would like to learn more about what you can do, you can have a copy of my new free ebook, Food, Freedom and Vitality: Get healthy and lose weight without food rules to begin your adventure.

You deserve to live a beautiful and fantastic life that is not riddled with punishments and misery just because you want to be healthy and look your very best. Don’t wait, start right now. Click here to get your copy!