When I was young I loved going out every Friday night to my favorite hole in the wall dance club and dance all night long and be on the way home until the sun came up. I had so much fun and I couldn’t imagine anything better than doing that.
Fast forward to me in my 30s. I don’t want to go anywhere late at night because that would disrupt my next day because I’d have to sleep at least until noon, and after that roam around in a sluggish daze doing absolutely nothing enjoyable or useful.
Nothing really changed about the club, I changed. And there was a period of time between when I loved it and when I stopped it when I was just mindlessly doing it again and again, even though it was bringing me less and less enjoyment. Until for some reason, one day I just went less and less until it was a once and a blue moon experience. Now, I LOVE day parties instead!
What happened? I just evolved and those things were not as awesome any more. We outgrow things.
But what happens if we just keep on mindlessly doing something that doesn’t serve us?
Those habits, foods, pastimes, etc., take up space and use up resources in your life that could be filled with something else much more meaningful. Maybe you have children or grandchildren. Or you have an established group of friends you like to hang out with, not screaming over loud music in the middle of the night. Maybe you’d enjoy sitting on your patio with margaritas and a charcuterie board, debriefing everyone on the craziness of your week. At first we might think we are becoming uncool. But eventually we realize that nobody else gives a damn so we should just do whatever the hell we want.
This works in so many different contexts.
We should regularly check in with ourselves when we start to feel that sensation of declining satisfaction and evaluate whether it’s time to give something up or if it’s just a temporary drop.
Sometimes people forget to think about the activities they keep up, just for the sake of them being done for a long time and may or may not even realize that those activities are causing them to miss out on some more authentic sources of joy for themselves.
It goes way beyond hobbies and leisure time. It can literally be applied to any experience you voluntarily partake in. Step back and decide whether or not you would like to continue—the reasons why really do not matter. What matters is mindfully choosing to do things in your everyday life that bring you some joy. Because they really do right now, not because they used to.
