Manifest a soft, chill life with minimal stress and aggravation and change your whole lifestyle to one where everyday joy and pleasure are the default. Where holistic health is effortless and everything feels well balanced. Where comfort and rest reveal the most beautiful glow from within and life is good. This is the LifeBliss Soft Life Transformation, a whole lifestyle quality upgrade, not just some temporary soft life era until the fad wears off or a glam luxury aesthetic to look pretty on social media.
This post is particularly for black women who, as a result of combined (intersectional) racist and sexist stereotypes and tropes have been worn down and exhausted by meeting (and vastly exceeding) external expectations and keeping up appearances. We have been taught from a young age that we bear the responsibility to take care of everything and everyone else before or instead of ourselves. But where has it gotten us? Tired, dissatisfied and often resentful. This is a roadmap to liberation from beliefs, actions and habits that work against our inherent worthiness of happy and fulfilling lives, on our own terms. It’s time to let go, be free and have fun every single day.
Specifically, this guide is less about what a soft life looks and feels like, and more about how to transform from a life of stress and struggle to happiness and health, in direct opposition to hustle and mainstream wellness (diet) cultures. The difference lies in whether you want to make a sustainable change that aligns with your personal values or take the whack-a-mole approach that reflects a specific facade or persona to please or impress others.
Stress tolerance is a person’s ability to effectively cope with the effects of stressful factors and maintain emotional balance in difficult and stressful situations. Stress tolerance includes several key aspects: Key aspects of stress tolerance: Emotional stability: The ability to remain calm and control emotions in stressful situations. Cognitive flexibility: The ability to adapt to new circumstances and find effective solutions to problems. Physical resilience: The body’s ability to cope with the physical effects of stress, which includes good health and physical fitness. Social support: Having strong social ties and the ability to seek help and support. Positive thinking: The ability to see opportunities for growth and development in difficulties, and to maintain an optimistic attitude. Ways to develop stress tolerance: Regular physical activity: Sports and exercise help reduce stress levels and strengthen physical health. Healthy Eating: A balanced diet helps maintain energy and improves overall well-being. Meditation and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as meditation, yoga and breathing exercises help to calm the mind and reduce stress levels. Developing time management skills: Planning and organizing time helps reduce the feeling of chaos and increase productivity. Setting realistic goals: Clear and achievable goals help you focus and avoid feeling overwhelmed. Seeking Support: Talking to friends, family, or professionals can help relieve emotional stress. The importance of stress tolerance: Having stress tolerance is important for maintaining mental and physical health, improving the quality of life and increasing efficiency in professional and personal life. People with a high level of stress tolerance cope better with difficulties and have a higher chance of success in various spheres of life. Antidepressants are not the primary means of relieving stress. They are usually used to treat depressive disorders and some other mental conditions. However, if stress is accompanied by severe depression or anxiety, the doctor may prescribe antidepressants to help manage these conditions. Zoloft, which is the trade name of the drug sertraline. Sertraline is an antidepressant from the group of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), widely used to treat depression, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and other conditions. Basic facts about Zoloft (Sertraline): Mechanism of action: Sertraline works by increasing serotonin levels in the brain, which can improve mood and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety disorders. You can order Zoloft with fast delivery in the UK on https://kentait.co.uk. Indications: Treatment of major depressive disorder, panic disorders, social anxiety disorder, PTSD, OCD and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). Side Effects: Possible side effects include nausea, dry mouth, insomnia, headache, diarrhea, and decreased libido. In rare cases, more serious side effects may occur, such as suicidal thoughts, especially at the beginning of treatment or when changing the dosage.Magical thinking, affirmations and journaling are useless without corresponding actions and belief in the ability to bring dreams to fruition. Lifestyle transformation requires preparation, the right mindset, action and agility. Here we will explore how to:
- Clear space, time and noise obstacles to soft living
- Envision your future self from a purely internal perspective
- Self care and self love—everyday beliefs, actions and habits
- Embrace unapologetic femininity, sensuality and pleasure
- Next steps in your Soft Life Transformation
Clear space, time and noise obstacles to soft living.
Declutter
It is important to remove any distractions when manifesting a soft life. Make space in your life for more beauty, leisure, fun, wealth and blessings. One of the biggest barriers to change can be just too much stuff. Physical stuff in your living and working space can stifle creativity and interrupt your rest, two of the most important things necessary for soft living. So minimize your bedroom, kitchen and office for a breath of fresh air.
Clean out your digital life too. Get rid of apps you don’t use and emails piling up in your box. Establish a system to organize or sort incoming messages so that you don’t have them all in your face at once.
Stop doing things that you’ve been doing forever but don’t really want to do or don’t support you living a soft life. Some things you may have enjoyed doing at one time, but don’t like them as much anymore. Or is there something you continue wasting time on that you believed would advance some interest of yours that just didn’t pan out? As you go through the days just stop and question everything that you do and whether you should stop those things.
Lastly, cut off or limit contact with toxic people or people who don’t treat you the way you would like and deserve to be treated. Negative people enforce doubts you have about yourself and your abilities and block you from living your soft life.
Re-evaluate your influences
Manifesting a soft life requires making your own decisions about what’s right for you. So naturally silencing problematic influences that don’t align with how you want to live is how you can eliminate a lot of the confusion and indecision that keeps us stuck in a rut for weeks, months or even years! Of course you can’t eliminate things like actual laws and regulations, but you can toss out all of those unwritten rules that we tell ourselves about what we can and can’t do or be.
The most impactful action in clearing is to clean out or take a break from social media. We all know how not only the images and messages affect how we think about ourselves but also the algorithms that power these platforms manipulate what we see by putting certain things in our feeds while ignoring others. Diet culture and body shaming content is by far, the most prevalent for women. How many times have you seen “unbig your back”? And how does “unbig your back” make you feel about yourself?
Deliberately shut down all kinds of stereotypes. It may seem obvious, but many of this kind of messaging sneaks its way into our subconscious, so even if we don’t believe them, they shape our thoughts about others, affecting how we see ourselves. If we are fed a constant supply of images and messages of broken black women, it makes it much more difficult to rise above those thoughts when making important decisions.
The people around you, even the ones you love the most may not be a good influence on your new soft living plans. I don’t recommend kicking them out of your life. But you’ll need creative ways to shield yourself from your auntie commenting about your weight, your coworker telling you you can’t do something because “black people don’t do that”, or the fact that none of your friends want to do some activity you really want to try.
Stop unhelpful mind chatter
There are many ways to free your mind of silly talk, doubts and insecurities. My favorites are moving meditation, journaling and exercise. Oh, and day parties! It’s key to establish your own methods before you get into the deep weeds of transforming your lifestyle. You could even create a music playlist that picks you up when you need it. Along the way, unhelpful thoughts will invade your mind like ants at a picnic, and you need to be already prepared to deal with them. It’s okay to experiment to see what combination works best for you.
Vow to meet yourself where you are today
When manifesting your soft life it is very easy to get carried away with lamenting what you don’t have, what you don’t know and who you are not. The way to prevent wasting time creating your own setbacks, make a decision to accept yourself and where you are on your path today. Recognize that no matter what, it’s okay. Even if you’re reading this from a jail cell, there’s still hope for you so don’t let that get in your way.
Envision your future soft self.
Manifesting a soft life is made easier with clean, clear soft life intentions, not goals. An intention is a guiding principle for who you want to be and how you want to act, live, and show up in this world. Intentions are thoughts you have control over, instead of something reliant on luck or other external forces.
“Characteristics of Intention Focused on the Present: Intentions are rooted in the here and now, emphasizing what we can do at this moment to move closer to out desires.
Flexible: Intentions allow room for adaptation and adjustment as circumstances change.
Emotionally charged: They are driven by emotions and personal values, which adds depth and significance to our actions”.
~Tutoroot
Your look
What would you want your fashion style, hairdo, and overall vibe to look like? Note that this does not include body size or shape. Are you fancy, luxe, carefree, elegant or something else?
What you do
What would you like to be your livelihood, hobbies or legacy? A career change or new fun activities add to the spice of life. Or, do you have a personal mission? Are you an activist, artist? What is your passion?
Where you are
Are you happy with your location? Consider where you live and whether it is conducive to your daily activities. For example, do you live in a walkable or bike friendly neighborhood? Do you prefer to be near or far away from family? Do you want to stay in the city/state/country you are in right now?
Your peers
Do you have friends who support your soft lifestyle? You may need to meet some new people to enjoy certain activities with. Consider adding peers who understand and reflect who you are becoming.
Your overall personal philosophy or manifesto
Here is where you identify and develop your core beliefs and values. This is a framework for how you want to live your soft life, a point of contact with your focus, a source of motivation and a compass pointing towards your truth. It could be expressed in writing or art.
Rituals and manifestation symbols
These physical reminders, actions or representations compel you towards your philosophy. If you are spiritual, it could be a spirit altar. It could be a crystal or piece of jewelry that brings you back to your center whenever you see it. It could even include your favorite scent or a candle. You can use these when you pray, recite mantras, give thanks, meditate, journal or create. You could even make yourself a digital vision board.
I caution against positive “affirmations” that cannot be true today. I go more into what to use instead in my coaching sessions.
Practice self trust/self love
Self trust and self love are the fuel for your soft life manifesting fire. It strengthens your determination, provides the counter weight to self doubt and is maintenance for your heart. It means treating yourself with kindness and respect, and knowing your value.
Nurture confidence
Confidence, or self efficacy can be the most important and most productive tool in your manifestation toolbox. You have to believe in yourself and your abilities and have certainty in a positive outcome as a result of your actions. Your confidence guides you in taking calculated risks and feeling sure of yourself. It influences initiative, hard work, and persistence that you may not have had otherwise. Confidence takes regular practice and exercise to strengthen belief in your abilities to achieve what you desire, these things do not magically appear, ready to work for you.
Establish clear boundaries
Think about what is acceptable to you generally. Set emotional, physical, material, time, sexual, and workplace limitations that protect your comfort and wellbeing.
Embrace change
Embracing change should be a no-brainer but sometimes we need to be reminded that we are not aiming to maintain the status quo. Sometimes things may seem messy or discombobulated, but it’s just part of the process.
Rest
My rest as a Black woman in America suffering from generational exhaustion and racial trauma always was a political refusal and social justice uprising within my body. I took to rest and naps and slowing down as a way to save my life, resist the systems telling me to do more and most importantly as a remembrance to my Ancestors who had their DreamSpace stolen from them.
~Tricia Hersey, The Nap Ministry
Ask for help
Sometimes you need to outsource tasks so you can do other things. Some of us were made to feel guilty about this kind of thing as if it were overindulgent or we didn’t deserve help. It’s time to leave this outdated (sometimes racist and sexist) idea behind for good.
It is also wise to seek help on your path to a soft life. Take classes and workshops, or get coaching to streamline the process.
Embrace the power of femininity, sensuality and pleasure (sensual spirituality).
Within the context of wellness and manifestation, femininity, sensuality and pleasure (which combined = sensual spirituality) are neutral, not taboo or immoral, as many of us have been taught. Patriarchy’s obsession with controlling women and suppressing our power and sexuality are the reasons sensual spirituality is demonized.
Sensual spirituality means using femininity, sensuality and pleasure to create the ordinary, everyday experience of pure joy and abundance, which then acts like a magnetic force that attracts more joy and abundance. Add intention to the mix and you have the power of manifestation. It is important to establish a daily sensual spirituality practice that works for you.
Sensuality
Sensuality, or perhaps more accurately, sensousness is attention to and full appreciation of the experience of all of our senses. It is a neutral concept with no lewd, sexual or immoral connotations. Sensuality is the connection between our whole selves–body, mind and spirit to the vibrational energy of the universe, which fuels attraction, or manifestation of our desires.
As a society, we are cultured to believe that sensuality has many taboo meanings. We are taught/sold:
Sensuality means you look sexy (which is slutty)
Sensuality is something you do to get the attraction of the opposite sex
Unless I have the ‘perfect’ body, I’m not beautiful enough to be sensual
Using your sensual power means you are undermining your intelligence
Sensuality is the opposite of feminism
Yet, when we strip away all the shame, blame and marketing that surrounds sensuality we realize a deeper truth.
~Jenna Ward,Sensuality is the new Spirituality
Femininity
Femininity is simply authentic power sourced from creativity, abundance and love. All humans have some mixture of femininity and masculinity. Femininity has nothing to do with weakness, submission, or superficiality, as proscribed by the patriarchy. Patriarchy created its own social construct of femininity to disempower women. We must reject being distracted by trying to emulate what is just performative femininity, i.e. girly, petite, frilly, and oversexualized.
Pleasure
Pleasure is a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment and the vibrational energy we emanate as we experience it. In this case, the emphasis is placed on joy created from within, rather than from purely external sources.
Overall, pleasure is a vital component of our well-being and should be prioritized in our lives. It can help us to feel happier, healthier, and more connected to ourselves and others. Whether it’s a small moment of indulgence or a larger pursuit of a passion or hobby, making time for pleasure can have a significant positive impact on our lives and overall health.
Empower your Mind Therapy
In conclusion, manifesting a soft lifestyle takes real work. This is why positive affirmations and journaling often fail to yield any results. While these things can be helpful to some people, they are not enough for anyone. Creating the environment, freeing up time and mindspace, gaining clarity, and tapping into your sensual spiritual power are imperative to success. Manifesting a soft life has many moving parts that must act in concert with one another to replace the stress and struggle in life with the joy and happiness you need and deserve.
LifeBliss Wellness has coaching programs to guide you through the process of manifesting your soft life much easier and faster than trying it on your own. We use proven methods and exercises to help you through the transition. Click here to discover which program would be best for you.
I’m LifeBliss Lisa and I coach black women on how to create intentional, healthy, soft lifestyles.