Chasing happiness is a lost cause. Happiness is not a thing that you can run towards, capture and walk away with. Not realizing this truth is why many of us feel like we are missing something in our lives, or something is just off.
First, we need to fully understand what happiness is, in the context of overall happiness as a lifestyle.
What happiness is not:
Having a whole lot of fun, 24/7. Spending your entire life on vacation my seem like it would bring happiness but what it would actually do is raise the threshold or baseline of feeling good until it reaches the point of diminishing returns. Then you just get bored.
Ignoring stress while seeking fleeting pleasure. Things like alcohol and substance abuse, excessive eating or sex, materialism and hedonistic behavior never leads to any true happiness. The root problem is chronic stress, which eventually develops into illness, or chronic lifestyle disease.
Suppressing emotions. Hiding behind a smiley face does nothing to bring lasting joy. While smiling can lift the spirit, not processing negative feelings is like sweeping dust under the rug, eventually they come back out.
Looking outside of yourself to define your values. Trying to imitate what you see on somebody’s glamorous but curated social media posts, reality television, or any other people’s stories.
So, besides doing the complete opposite of those things, it’s important to focus on being present, not stuck in the past or worrying about the future, and these habits:
Keep an active mind. Do stuff. It doesn’t really matter to anyone else what you do, but satisfy some curiosity and never stop.
Nurture meaningful relationships. Really invest in other people, listen to them and create a mutual feeling of trust. Positive social habits are scientifically linked to longer life.
Regularly put yourself in nature. I don’t know how this works but it does. Whether it’s taking a hike in the woods or relaxing in a city park, nature grounds us and connects us to life, and is a very effective way to manage stress.
Set boundaries and prioritize your well being. You do not have to be in service to anyone, unless it’s your job, and even though you do it while on duty and do you on your own time. Despite what others might tell you, this is not selfish. When you sustain a happy lifestyle it becomes contagious. Others will notice and follow your lead.
It is important to not make happiness just another thing for you to achieve or obtain. It takes making authentic moves that align with your unique set of values. Life will get its sparkle back again and while it will not feel like a thrill a minute, contentment and a feeling of freedom is the reward. It’s all about the mindset. Want to go deeper? Sign up for weekly emails below.
